Esther Yoon

“Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?”

Going to Kenya, I felt exactly how Moses must have felt when God commanded Him to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. I was filled with doubts and insecurities of how He would use me to fulfill His will, when I had so much more to learn on my own. I questioned why He was sending me to Africa and what He wanted me to learn while I was there. As our airplane departed America, I lifted up a prayer to God asking Him to help me see His will for my life through this trip.

“O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant..”

When we arrived to our first village in Siongoroi, they welcomed us with songs and dance as they joyfully banged their drums. Although this church did not have the funds to construct a building, the people praising God with all their hearts under the overhanging tarp on four wooden poles was more than enough to show me that God’s presence was at this church. We were to have our first night of revival and Pastor John said that one of us would be sharing our testimonies. About 15 minutes before the service began, He said “Esther.. you’re up.” And my heart stopped right then and there. I felt extremely anxious, because I did not think God would call me to do this so soon. Anyone who knows me knows how much I dread public speaking, and how difficult it is for me to overcome this fear.

“The Lord said to him, “Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”

But as I prayed fervently for the hundreds of Kenyans that had gathered, my fears began to slowly fade. I felt God reassuring me that He would somehow use my testimony to bless his people, and that He had brought me here for His glory and not my own. This truth gave me the courage to be able to share with them. Afterwards, my eyes couldn’t help but fill with tears during our closing body worship to “Son of God,” because I knew in my heart that our Lord really was worthy of all our praise.

Acknowledging this truth helped me as we did house to house evangelism later on in the villages, because it was still a daunting task for me. I felt inadequate being the one to deliver His message and when we split into groups to share, I always pushed my team members to share before me. However, as we were evangelizing in the desert region of Pokot, our group walked for an hour without encountering anyone to minister to. It was my turn to share, and there were only a few cactus trees and some donkeys as far as the eye could see. As we walked, I repented to God telling Him I was sorry for not willingly taking the opportunity to share and having more courage to speak the Words when He had given me the chance.

“And when they heard that the Lord was concerned about them and had seen their misery, they bowed down and worshiped.”

Luckily, someone told us that there was a group of people eating by the dried up riverbed. When we entered the area, there were about 30 people gathered, laughing, eating, and talking with one another. The women were weaving baskets and breast-feeding their children; they agreed to listen to us when we asked if we could share the gospel with them. I was shocked when they said that they had never heard the gospel message before. After sharing the Word, I asked if they would like to accept Christ and many of the women wanted to pray and accept Jesus into their hearts. Afterwards, one of them even demanded that we build a church for them there so they could learn more about Him. My heart broke for these people, and I lifted up a prayer to God asking Him to send more workers into this region to minister to them.

“I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with mighty acts of judgment. I will take you as my own people, and I will be your God..”

Through this experience, God showed me that no matter how inadequate we are, He is still willing to use our testimonies to bless others. The God we worship is greater than all our fears, our weaknesses, and inabilities. My prayer is that I will continue to be refined by Him and faithfully do His work wherever He calls me.