Minsoo Choi

Everyone has different reasons for going to missions. Most missionaries, especially those in Kenya, dedicate their lives to the mission field because of their love for God and His people. I went to Kenya for a different reason: I wanted to figure out my calling and went with the idea that God would give me a clear vision of what I should do with my life. Because of my selfishness, I did not have any zeal for this trip or any motivation to love His people. By the fourth week, most of the members of our team cried with tears and compassion for the people of Kenya. I, on the other hand, could not show any love for the people, because I was too focused on myself and only concerned about my future. From this wrongful attitude, I came to the realization that I was more in love with the world and myself than I was in love with God.

After seeing my own selfishness, I prayed to God that He would change my heart, so that I would complete this trip out of my love for Him. A couple of days later, He answered my prayer in Kwale, where 99% of its people are from the Muslim faith. Many of the people of the area denied Christ and refused our prayers. My heart began to break because I started to see how much they needed God, but they could not see it for themselves. God loved them so much that He delivered His son to them, but the people of Kwale still refused Him. Their denial reminded me of the sense of urgency in delivering the Gospel.

During one of the House to House Evangelism trips in Kwale, my group met a disturbed woman. When I first met this woman, I did not have any love for her because she was yelling at me and cursing the rest of the team. She even scared away the little children that were following us, where one little boy ran away crying because he was so terrified of her. Her actions made me so angry, but then, I realized that she too was human. She couldn’t accept Christ, because she loved her family and money more than anything else in the world. She was in desperate need of healing; she needed the kind of healing that only comes from Christ.

I’m not much different than this disturbed woman. There are times when my love for the world and myself is so much greater than my love for God. When I am focused too much on myself, I lose sight of God and let worldly things consume me, just like the way the woman let worldly things consume her.

This experience taught me that my love for Jesus must be greater than my love for the things of this world. As I come back to America, there will be a lot of temptations that will cause my heart to be divided once again. There’s a high chance that I will fail many times, and fall into these temptations. But even when I fail, I can’t surrender and let the world consume me. I must continue fighting and remember to hold onto the blessings from Africa. I must continue to love Him, more than anything else of this world.